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Blegh

  • Oct. 21st, 2009 at 7:22 PM

Man. TDF has been out all day. I'm bored out of my mind and no one is on Skype. GAH.

Its true, I have to memorize this stupid monologue by Monday and I'm barely halfway through. But I've been feeling sick. Well, not so much sick as my head has been pounding all day long. Actually, all week lone. I have absolutely no idea why. And I'm not all inspired to write either or work on my videos.*headdesk*

Also, I can't stop thinking of something from earlier. I told myself I would at least introduce myself to this guy I like in my lunch, but I couldn't think of a way to. So, I told a friend who  only sits at the table for half the period, then goes and sits at the table next to his. ((Plus, in eighth grade, I hid behind her and had her tell my crush then that I liked him. There is a reason I hate being a marmot soul.-_-;)) So, she brought him down to my lunch table and when I could barely introduce myself, she asked him out for me. All of this while my friend, Bobo, was messing around with Jen and nearly fell on top of my. FML. Well, this isn't enough for FML. This is more like a "fuck high school drama" FHSD moment. I haate being a teenager and I hate high school. Blegh.

Whats worse is I'm finally over my annoyance at my ex. I'm being nice to him again, we're friends again, etc. I tease him in the same way I tease other friends and act hyper.  ONly problem is I'm thinking he might like me again. That would end very badly...I know it would.

I dunno. I just felt like updating this thing while TDF was down and I couldn't find anything to do. I already wore out playing video games earlier...meh. 

Oct. 3rd, 2009

  • 4:18 PM

I have no idea what this entry is about. I just felt like updating it finally. Probably just going to be a lot of rambling.xD

First off is the fact that I'm really friggen happy that I managed to finish a video yesterday. Took me almost a week, but I  'm proud of it.<3 And its to a song that almost no one knows. At least no one I know. The song is "Love Me Dead" by Ludo to Balto clips. I kinda rushed the end, because I had to get it done before coming over to my dad's so that I could upload it. Then I started a Halloween video that has a slower pace because I had way too many effects in the Love Me Dead video. And I'm probably going to do like fifty Halloween videos, thanks to Katie getting me the songs off Youtube.<3 Right now I'm doing the song "I Put A Spell On You" from Hocus Pocus, because that is my absolute favorite Halloween movie. Of course, Scooby Doo on Zombie Island is a close second. ((As seen on my new TDF username.xD))

Now for a quick rant. I hate being stuck at my dad's house. I get yelled at to make sure I respect their beliefs, but they seem to tread all over mine. And I'm still not over the fact I'm not allowed to wear anything rainbow. Because, according to my dad, he "doesn't need that rainbow stuff in my house." Which, he's kinda screwed over with that one, cause he's got me in his house. He also has my story that centers around a gay couple. That second part he doesn't know.xD I try to be respectful, but then I get forced to go to their church and I spend the entire time rolling my eyes at almost everything said. I tried to write last time, but then I got yelled at. Still going to try again this week once I get more notebook paper. I got more writing done in ten minutes last time than I had the entire week before. Also, I'm still pissed at my stepsister for looking at me and making a joke after seeing that tears were streaming down my face after the movie last night. I almost hurt her. Still want to.

Also, I am currently addicted to my dad's Wii.^^; It lets me anti-social without getting yelled at. I've also become addicted to his hunting game. I feel bad everytime I play it, but I love it so much.xD I almost beat it in the course of two days. I'm in the final area, and I'm trying to get to this abandoned lodge place but it glitched and won't let me go in the area, where I'll have to hunt a lion. So I ended up giving up and playing a Zelda archery thing instead.xD Then I came online.

And now I can't go on TDF cause I have to wait until no one is around and my stepsister is right next to me playing tennis on the Wii.

...And I think thats it. I can't think of anything else to talk about.xD

Update

  • Sep. 22nd, 2009 at 7:42 PM

Not much, really. I'm just in the mood to update my journal quickly with some stuff. Just really quick and short, to the point.

First off, I'm finally 16. Hells yes. As of yesterday, I am 16 years old. Didn't have a huge party, didn't have any friends over at all, but I prefer it that way. ((Hmm...is that a pika trait?XD *heads of to thread to ask...again*)) Then I stayed up late to watch Repo! The Genetic Opera. I'm hoping to get the CD this weekend, then possibly Sweeney Todd DVD, but I might let that one wait a while.

Next, NCIS starts tonight. SVU tomorrow night. I am incredibly happy about this.xD Especially SVU.<3

Third, in art club today we made balloon animals.XD It wasa friggen amazing, I loved it. Even though my one friend apparently is terrified of balloons and kept snapping at everyone. I don't want to be mean, but I'm wondering why she came at all if she's scared of balloons popping. We knew what we were doing today, he told us last weeek. And you put high school kids, especially some of my friends, and you're going to ket a lot of popping.xD I made a mouse/pika/snake thing and an anteater type thing. Then my friend made me a sword. Then another friend made a chain out of the balloons with collars on the ends and we walked around the school for a while wearing them.xD Then when we were putting it in the gallery, the collar on my side popped. *sadface*

Also, I'm thinking of making a LJ for one of my characters.xD Maybe two or more eventually. But I think I'll just try it out with him, since he's a headmate and all.xD So if you get random friend requests, they aren't completely random.xP

New Hairstyle

  • Sep. 1st, 2009 at 9:11 PM

Guess who got their hair cut?8D Yes, I have short hair now. I got it cut from halfway down my back to just above my shoulder.<3 And I love it, I'm so glad I decided to do this. I'm really happy with it and I'm glad I did it.^^

In other news, I guess I'll do a quick bio about school so this journal has somewhat of a purpose.xD So, here's my schedule for this half of the year:

1st period: US Governmet 1
Opinion: Its an okay class. I know I'm going to be bored out of my mind in it, but I understand this stuff, so it should be easy as long as I do the homework.

2nd period: Multimedia Developement
Opinion: Its all about Photoshop. We get to be on computers using PS for half a year. Its gonna be awesome. So far, we've only done the basics, so its boring at the moment. But I have a friend in there and after we finished up we messed around on an online game.

3rd period: Digital Photography
Opinion: Epic. Its gonna be epic. I love photography. The teacher is one of my favorite teachers at the school. The class is going to be amazing. Only problem is my ex who is still kinda obsessive is in there and gets to be my partner the entire half of the year. If he touches me again, though, he's losing an arm.^-^

4th period: Study h-I mean Academic Prep
Opinion: God, I hate study hall. It will be useful in November though. Get homework done in class and do NaNo at home. But I hate that they changed the name just to make it look like we're doing something.

5th period: Intro to Theatre
Opinion: Already friggen amazing. I'm going to love this class. Right now we're learning about Ancient Greek theatre as well, which is a favorite of mine. Its going to be an amazing class.

6th period: Lunch
Opinion: Last lunch period of the daay. Damn. But the lunch periods are now as long as the classes and they are so long.xD Its like, "WTF? Is lunch over yet?"

7th period: Academic Prep
Opinion: See above.XD

8th period: Geometry
Opinion: Haha....failed it last year, so I have to take it again. But its easy so far. As long as I do the homework this year.

And then I have some different classes for the last half of the year, but I'll update with those when I actually get into them.

Several writing things:

1.) River Styx: I actually have a blog for my progress now.xD And I haven't worked on it much even though I have a ton of new ideas.<3
2.) Fighting For Hope: This is going to be my NaNoWriMo novel. I have it fairly well planned out, so if you wanna see the plot, just message me or something.xD I'm being lazy right now.
3.) Children's Book: Me and a friend are going to collab on a children's book. I'm doing the writing and she's going to do the illustrations.
4.) Scripts: I'm going to have to do some scripts for Theatre, which is actually gonna be quite fun.xD

And...thats it, I think.XP Night all.

Chasing Flies

  • Aug. 15th, 2009 at 8:51 PM

XD Two weeks since my last post? Wow. Oh well. I'm not posting about my vacation, cause I'm lazy right now. But oh well. I'll do that later.

So, what have I done today? i took every thing out of my closet, then re-organized it. That took the entire freaking day.@_@ At one point I was trapped by the closet, behind my bed because everything was piled around me.xD It was kind of funny. I listened to X-Ray Dog most of the time, then I managed to get out into the other room and found out Hercules was on. So, I ended up watching that and then Aladdin as I finished up. Now I'm watching a show about amusement parks on Travel Channel. IT kinda stinks though, cause me and my mom were going to watch the Lord of the Rings movies, cause I've never watched them before. But I ended up doing that, and she left around six to go to her friend's or something. So, we might do it tomorrow, but my friend is supposed to come over. Which is awesome, but I was hoping to watch those movies with my mom. But I guess we can do it another time.

...I'm hungry.xD I haven't eaten dinner yet, and should probably go do that. Then I'm going to probably come and watch either Edward Scissorhands or Who Framed Roger Rabbit. Not sure which yet.XD I'll figure it out later.

And I'm still working on the re-write of part one of my novel. I WAS going to finish it tomorrow while listening to X-Ray Dog, but I think tomorrow is going to be pretty busy.xD Then I set Monday aside to do some POkemon stuff, but I might not end up doing it. Instead, I'll just do something completely different on Pokemon.xD Then Tuesday, we get school schedules. So, I'll be freaking out about school for a while.

Uh...I think thats it...I'm tired.XD Right. Bye.XP

*headdesk*

  • Jul. 28th, 2009 at 12:00 AM

Yeah, another rant. I need to calm down, or find someone to tell the real rant to. ((I can't really give my actual rant, because of stuff, and I don't want it to be public.))

Well, now I really want to hurt someone or something. Destroy something, I don't know. And I don't care. I just feel so angry and PO'd, especially at myself. Again. Just like yesterday and..GAH! This drives me crazy. And I know the reason for it. I was just fine until that link was put up, and now.*headdesk* I hate myself for this again. I guess once more I say that I have to get used to it.*sigh*

In other news, not complete ranting news:

I don't have a short story for this week's prompt, even though I had a great idea. I just got distracted and didn't get a chance to work on it. I haven't worked on River Styx at all this week either, so I need to get back to that. I'll hopefully work  on it during vacation.

Which bring me to my next bit of news! I am going on vacation starting this Friday and I will be away for a week. I will miss you all and will update when I get back.

Uh, at least thats shorter than last time. ((Trust me, though. If you saw the actual rant, this post would be HUGE. *walks away cursing*))

Jul. 26th, 2009

  • 12:57 AM

Uh...self explanatory, yes? I just need to get some stuff down, so ignore and skip if you don't like rants.

And the rant starts....now!

Well, here it is again. Once more I am struck with that feeling of disgust at myself. All because of something I did. Again. I swore I wouldn't, but I didn't. I sicken myself sometimes, and I hate it. Its so bad even Razz ignores me most of the time, and I can't think straight for hours because of it. And yet, I still do it. Why? I don't know. I don't think I ever will.
Well, I could say that I know the reason, but then a part of my mind will push it away as just another excuse. Just one of many my mind comes up with. Ah, screw it. I want to say I should just accept it, but I know I never can. No matter how much advice I get, I feel the same. Disgusted and sick to my stomach. Just another night.

Then there are my paranoias. I've done enough rants for me, its almost like I'm a machine when I talk about them. The same words come out time after time. They just won't stop haunting my mind. They won't let me just live my effing life. I'M SICK OF IT. Why can't I just feel normal for once in my life? I don't think I'll ever know. I don't think I'll ever care. I just want them gone. And I don't want people giving the same advice over and over again, if it doesn't work after that many tries, its never going to work.
I hope they eventually leave me alone.

Now, for this. You don't have to talk that loud!! When I can hear you from my room, and get annoyed by the sound of your voice, you are talking TOO EFFING LOUD. Drives my crazy. I have to turn my TV or music up to drown out the sound of your voice.

And now for the silly shouts and rants, if you are looking for something that does not equal srs face, these are the rants for you.xD

What the hell?! I've been working this puzzle to CALM DOWN. For several hours. Only to find I have pieces missing?! *headdesk* Gah, I hate that. It'll be there at the back of my mind for the rest of the night, the fact that I can't actually finish the puzzle. Damn, that sucks.

Screw you, Zelda game. As if I'm not annoyed enough with the cartoon graphics, the reason I don't play the game that often, and now this. I completely forgot this part of the game, and this is why I am mad at the dog for eating my memory card when we first got her. Where I was past this. Making me run, well...sail, around the entire ocean to get something, then find I have to go somewhere else first. Then I have to go somewhere else to get there. Its too confusing. Thats why I switched to the puzzle.

And you, other Zelda game... I adore you. I adore your graphics. I adore the plotline, and most everything about you. Then you pull this. I'm horrible with this stuff. Getting the thing to the entrance while avoiding something? Not fun. Not for me. I don't remember why I'm stuck on my other file, but I'm too lazy to check...-_-;

Of course, you are going to play cards. Which means you are going to go get drunk and come back late in the afternoon. While I'm home alone because she is going to Toledo. Joy. As if I'm not bored enough with Katie on the mission trip. No one to text or talk to....Well, except KAthy. But you cannot hold an intelligent conversation with her, so I think I'll pass. *sigh* Maybe my Guitar Hero obsession will come back overnight...

Well, at least you cheer me up, Monty Python. *singing quietly* Every sperm is sacred, every sperm is good...

Oh! Or I could watch Black Books....hm...tempting....

Well, so ends my rants.^^;; Ha...I feel a lot better now.

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Prompt Two: Electricity

  • Jul. 20th, 2009 at 2:09 AM

This is for the second prompt, which was electricity. I once again used no dialogue, but human characters. I decided to use this one as a backstory for one of my characters in my novel. I also used it as practice because when I work on said novel, I always think I use too much dialogue. So, here it is!^^ I like this one better, even if it is a fair amount shorter than the last one. Anyways, its two in the morning and I'm tired, so enjoy the short story.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Leo flinched slightly as he saw the lightning flash overhead, soon followed by the deafening thunder. He turned his eyes to the skies for a moment, his eyes nervous, and then down to his hands as another flash of light showed the blood that covered them. He winced for a moment as the memories flooded his mind, but he quickly pushed them away as he gave a quick glance over his shoulder. Leo glanced down at the dagger that sat in one hand, the sweet red blood glistening for a moment as the clouds cleared to show the silver moon. He let out a slight sigh before he placed the dagger at his belt once more.

 

Leo’s eyes settled on the house that stood nearby, just outside of the forest that he stood in. The night’s silence was broken only by the storm and Leo’s heavy panting; the residents of the homes in the valley were all blissfully unaware of anything out of place. Slowly, his eyes drifted to the cloudy sky, the moon covered once again. Another sigh escaped his lips as he started to turn away from the town, but he hesitated and stood silent for a moment.

 

After a few moments of standing in silence, Leo jumped as he heard a crashing, his heart pounding once more. He soon realized it was only a feral cat that had streaked through the night in fear before crashing into someone’s window. He let out the breath that he’d been holding and started to relax until he saw the slight light that came from a candle flickering in the window of the house closest to him. Leo cursed under his breath as lightning struck once more, illuminating the silhouette of a well-built man talking to a thin, delicate looking young woman. The two people he didn’t need to run into.

 

His heart gave a slight jump in his chest as if he’d been jolted with electricity as he saw the man emerge from the house within a few minutes. Instinctively his hand flew down to the small dagger that was at his belt, but he stood silent, barely daring to breath. He stood almost catlike as his eyes followed his father as he walked towards the forest, and part of Leo’s body told him to run, and for a slight moment he started to act on it.

 

As Leo took a step back to avoid being seen by his father, his foot caught the middle of a branch, causing it to snap just when the storm was starting to quiet down and the sound echoed throughout the night. Instead of freezing when his father quickly turned around, Leo couldn’t help himself as he started to turn and run, instead tripping over something and landing face first in the dirt. His head whammed against a rock, and his breath temporarily left him. As he stood up, his vision blurred slightly and he ignored the cut on the side of his head and the blood that flowed from it. He stumbled slightly, but he tried to shake it off as he saw his father quickly coming towards him. Leo put a hand to his throbbing forehead for a moment before he came to his senses and quickly pulled out his dagger, pointing it straight at his father.

 

His eyes narrowed in a cold glare at his father as he stopped walking. No words were exchanged between them as they stared each other in the eyes, the moment seeming to be frozen in time. After a few moments, Leo’s father eventually took a few steps back and stood silent, his eyes seeming hesitant for a moment before they turned emotionless. Leo watched him carefully as he took a step back, pausing once more before he turned quickly on his feet and started to run through the forest, just as the lightning flashed again.

 

The lightning seemed to almost be an electric trigger in Leo’s body, and he rushed through the trees and the brush. The wind rushed into his ears, whispering words of encouragement to him as he tuned out the storm, his thoughts jumbled. The dagger flew out of his hand as he ran, but he ignored it, he didn’t give it a second thought. He was finally free. Freedom; a word he’d never before known, a new notion to his mind. Occasionally he thought of the electricity that had passed between him and his father in that moment that their eyes were locked, a moment of almost understanding. A moment unprecedented for them.

 

As he rejoiced at his freedom in the rain that poured down, his thoughts started to wander to what he had had to do to gain it. The act he committed was still undiscovered to his knowledge, his one friend still lying on the cold hard ground, bleeding because of Leo. Dead because of Leo’s dagger. His heart sank as this thought hit him, but he didn’t miss a step as he continued to run, ignoring the tree branches that cut into his arms. Leo had known all along that freedom came with a hefty price, and he had been ready to pay it. He knew that he would be sought after by everyone in the town for the rest of his life, but he was ready to go far away from there. He would go to the ends of the earth to find a new life, because he knew that he couldn’t stay behind. He didn’t fit in, the facts were as simple as that. Leo was different, Leo was an outcast. He could never live out a fulfilling life in the town. As he ran, his eyes seemed blind to the world around him, blind to the nature he passed by. Leo paid no attention to what direction he was headed, nor did he want to. He was just a wanderer, there for only a moment before he moved on to new experiences. Just like the lightning that flashed through the sky on that peaceful night.

Prompt One: Heatwave

  • Jul. 9th, 2009 at 4:27 PM

This is for the TDF Summer of Short Stories for the week of July 6th-July 13th. The prompt was heatwave, and this is the first fiction that came to my head and I put it down. I don't like it much, and I wish that I could have brought the prompt into it as a bigger part, but oh well. I promise I'll do better next week!^^;; Anyways, here it is. It is 1, 425 words long.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The sun’s rays beat down upon the stone of the gorge, making it hot to the touch underneath Maya’s paws. While it would bother most strays, Maya somehow found it easy to endure the heat waves that struck in the summer, despite her long black fur. What appeared to be a smile sat on her muzzle as she felt the warmth of the rocks beneath her feet. Her normally dull brown eyes now had a slight tint of enjoyment and happiness to them as she walked through the gorge that stood outside of the town where the strays wandered. The humans would all be inside their houses with their fans going full speed, their lap dogs laying at their feet, trying to keep from the heat. Most of the other strays would either be scrounging around in the dump for food or lazing in the shade. No one else would bother taking a leisurely stroll, even the other strays that enjoyed the heat had stayed behind.

 

There was little shaded areas in the gorge and it was void of most life, those who did live in the gorge had mostly taken shelter or were reptiles that lay on rocks to sunbathe. Maya glanced over at a lizard she hadn’t experienced before and padded silently over to it, pausing slightly before she started to sniff it. As she did so, it stood up in irritation from both the heat and having its sleep disturbed and it hissed at her, managing to bite her nose slightly. Maya let out a yelp and jumped back, quickly tucking her tail between her legs as she quickly moved away from the lizard that was crawling back into its home in the ground. The Belgian Shepherd glared slightly in its direction before she turned and trotted off, ignoring her throbbing nose. As soon as she was out of its sight though, she quickly sat down and rubbed at her nose with her paw, just barely able to keep a whimper from escaping her maw. She stopped rubbing it after a moment and let out what sounded like a sigh as she looked up at the clear sky, cloudless, the only thing standing out in it being the burning sun. She lay down on the rocky ground and closed her eyes to let the warmth soak into her fur and she soon dozed off.

 

A few hours later, she was still asleep there as the air around started to cool off, the heat wave finally losing its grip on the town. Her eyes slowly opened as the sounds of a vulture calling from overhead reached her ears, which twitched slightly. Her eyes floated to the sky, where the sun was starting to set slowly. Maya stretched and yawned, knowing that it was about time that she should head back to the town before the creatures of the night came out. She knew the heat wave would be back again the next day, could feel it in her bones and she told herself that she could come back then.

 

As she started to turn around to leave the gorge, her body tensed up with the sense that something else was nearby. It was then that she saw the eyes. The eyes that burned through the ever-growing darkness and pierced into hers. The eyes of a creature of the night. Maya felt a shiver as it crawled down her spine, her eyes intently focused on the scarred dog that stepped into her view. His lips were curled back in a fierce snarl and his eyes were cold and hungry. He stepped toward Maya slowly as she was still frozen with fear as he started to pace in a circle around her. Finally, Maya came to her senses and her hackles raised as she started to growl, crouching low to the ground and starting to back up slightly until she hit the rock wall of the gorge. She tucked her tail between her legs as she realized she was cornered and the other dog was closing in on her.

~~~~~~~~

The next morning, birds were up chirping away and pecking at the bird feeders that sat in yards before the heat wave could hit. Dogs ran after Frisbees thrown by early risers, those who wanted to avoid the heat of the later day. Strays watched the lap dogs from the safety of being downwind and out of sight, hidden in the bushes. Some watched with disgust in their eyes, while others talked tough but secretly yearned to be the ones that would go inside to sit by a nice, cooling fan for the rest of the day. It was a normal routine for a summer day where they lived, rarely broken and always favored. This morning, though, it was broken by a stray Belgian shepherd, who limped through the city dump with blood dripping from a jagged gash in her left hind leg.

 

Other strays wondered what had happened, seeing as if there was a fight between the strays, everyone knew. They knew she’d gained the wound in the heat of the gorge of the previous day. She ignored the whines and sounds the others made asking her as she walked out of the dump and away from where she slept. As she reached the entrance of the gorge, she was stopped by a cocky stray only a year older than her, a vigorous mutt who would do anything to win a fight. Maya growled out a warning to him but he ignored her and started to walk towards her, teeth bared. She crouched low to the ground as he approached her and when he was only a few feet away, she lunged forward and sunk her teeth into his neck before quickly jumping back, her eyes emotionless. Maya ignored the stunned strays that quickly moved out of her way as she walked forward, leaving the male dog to suffer in the sun.

 

She walked toward the gorge in silence, her fur matted and her eyes dull. The heat soaked into her fur, but she ignored it, only giving a slight glance at the sun. Maya continued onward silently, not noticing the life she passed by, the lizards that were startled by her sudden presence and hissed at her. Maya walked onwards until she noticed a large rock that provided just enough shade for her to rest in. She quickly limped over, the heat wave finally starting to bother her, irritating her wound. She sat down in the small section of shade, and then started to like her wound for a moment. Maya stayed in the same spot for several hours before she finally stretched and ventured out into the growing heat wave once more. She ignored the pain she felt coming from the pads of her paws that were being cut from the sharp rocks she limped over.

 

As she walked, Maya heard the calls of various birds from overhead and she gave a slight glance up to see a hawk as it swooped down to snatch up one of the smaller lizards. She watched it eat for a moment before she continued onward, only hesitating for a slight moment as she realized she was about to go further into the gorge than any of the strays had been before. The feeling was soon replaced with curiosity and she pushed onward, sticking close to the rocky wall and jumping at any unexpected sound that reached her ears.

 

After walking for a while, the path started to widen and revealed a large field that lie in wait just beyond it. Maya stopped walking for a moment and looked out into it, a place where she could bask in the sun or rest in the shade of the trees. She glanced over her shoulder back in the direction of the town, but something inside compelled her to move forward. As she took a step forward, feeling the grass beneath her paw, the heat wave seemed to lift from her and she no longer felt it. Her mind was focused on other things as she started to limp quickly into the field, finally managing to break into a full run to the middle of the field, panting slightly. She ignored the calls from the vultures that flew overhead as she rolled around in the tall grass and flowers. She finally lie down in the grass, unable to hear those who called her name. Their voices were lost to her ears in the mist of a heat wave.

What's This?

  • Jul. 5th, 2009 at 1:16 AM

I have no idea.xD Well, this is my first entry, huzzah. Joined today because of a friend. I'm still trying to figure things out on here and I have no idea how active I'll be. It all determines on if my laptop likes LJ. I'll find out tomorrow.

Now, I would type more out., but its 1:30 in the morning. I have a headache. I'm tired. You get the picture. I'm going to bed. After not working on my story at all.

Also wanted to say, you can expect posts of stories for a thing on another site during the summer.

So, good night, and be safe.*salutes*XD

~Emily